Winter Survival Appeal: 'Markfield gives us strength...it's a second home'

The mothers at the weekly training sessions at Markfield Project have one thing in common — they are juggling the exhausting demands of raising children with communication and behavioural difficulties, compounded by the stress of living in poverty.

Nancy, 40, a single mother of four, has two special needs children with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. What is “freaking” her out is that her 16-year-old son is “a ravenous eater” who shreds her food budget and whose “love of computers and coding” has helped triple her energy bill. “I think, how will I afford this? Why can’t he leave some snacks for others? I feel all this tension but also all this guilt because he is a growing boy and doesn’t get the cost of living crisis,” she said.

Maria, 34, has a four-year-old daughter who walks on tiptoes and is non-verbal and an eight-year-old son who “struggles to communicate”, but meeting their needs has been made much harder by a new smart meter. It has led to “a huge gas bill”, putting her behind on payments for the first time. “I feel the world closing in on me,” she said.

And Fran, 29, a single mother with a masters degree in languages who gave up her dream career as a teacher to care for her four-year-old autistic son, said she cannot afford the basic gym lessons he needs to improve his muscle tone — because her benefits of £550 a month are already stretched beyond breaking point.

For these parents — and more than 100 others with SEN children — the one place that provides them with understanding, companionship, advocacy and support is Markfield. Situated in the middle of Markfield Park in Haringey, it is one of the charities being funded by a £50,000 grant from our Winter Survival Appeal in partnership with Comic Relief.

Sylvia Hurtado, CEO of Markfield Project, said the grant would be used to fund projects like their Stepping Stones training programme which helps parents improve their communication with their children, as well as their under-fives drop-in. Hurtado has an infectious joy of life and has created a charity hugely appreciated by the parents who use it. “Many of these children cannot access mainstream education and the parents end up having to leaving their jobs to look after their children.”

For Fran, the change that Markfield has brought to her has felt like a paradigm shift. She said: “Like many autistic children, my son has no sense of danger and likes to run around and jump off things. He barely speaks, never makes eye contact and we never properly connected. But Markfield trained me how to communicate better. They taught me how to play and have fun with him. The result was that for the first time, he made eye contact with me. It was emotional.”

Maria added: “I hardly ever go out or anywhere and I can end up feeling quite isolated, but when I come to Markfield, my daughter connects with other children and I talk to parents who understand what I’m going through.”

For Nancy, Markfield saved her from breakdown. “When I’ve had a bad morning with my child having a meltdown and me in tears because of the fear of not being able to meet my bills, Markfield gives me the strength to carry on. I’ve got no savings, no buffer, and so I feel very vulnerable. But when I come here, I meet other parents with similar problems. Markfield is our second home.”

* The names of some parents have been changed.

To make a donation, visit comicrelief.com/wintersurvival